control?

I'm watching Hotel Rwanda for the first time. Pretty intense. "How many acts of genocide does ittake to be considered genocide?" My heart breaks that when i was 6 years old this actually happened. and I've been freaking out about America?! People sin. God is good.

This is no time for fear

This is a time for faith and determination

Don't lose the vision here

Carried away by emotion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart

There is one thing that has always been true

It holds the world together

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him, we know

God is in control, oh God is in control

History marches on

There is a bottom line drawn across the ages

Culture can make its plan

Oh, but the line never changes

No matter how the deception may fly

There is one thing that has always been true

It will be true forever

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him, we know

God is in control

He has never let you down

Why start to worry now?

He is still the Lord of all we see

And He is still the loving Father

Watching over you and me...

-Twila Paris

i'm back!!

so i definitely forgot about this until Saturday when Nicole was working on a blog and i was like "hey i have one of those!" so here i am.

this semester has actually been the best yet. I like my classes, love my professors, and except for a few certain assignments the HW hasn't been so bad. Last week was entirely too stressful and was probably the lowest of the semester i will let myself get. I did my psyc annotated bibliography in like 2 days (not a wise move). But, besides some tests this week is not so bad. And, this year is flying by. usually i am counting down to thanksgiving break passionately but not this time. It shall be here soon enough. I already registered for next semester & it should not be too difficult either. (As long as I focus and don't procrastinate. hah.) No more 7:40s but, i'll have MWF classes again. :( i loved my long weekends. I'm scared about the classes i'm putting off for next Fall though. But, I won't "fret" about that now. And no i have no clue what i am going to do post-graduation. any ideas? job openings? didn't think so. anyways,
i have not been getting on Facebook or playing Solitaire on Mondays for the last several weeks. I just need to be more productive and focused on Mondays. (can't you see how well that is working as i'm writing on here pretty much about nothing?)

Nicole (roomie) took pictures of Raymond and I yesterday at the park. :) i thought it was fun even though i'm definitely never going to have a career in modeling. oh well...haha. can you believe we've been dating for over 2 and 1/2 years? sheesh. i think that has been the hardest part of this semester: adjusting to ray being here. not that its bad don't get me wrong i LOVE having him here and now can't imagine it without him. but, definitely different. especially because practically everyone else we know has broken up. We've had a lot to work through and improve on. I'm excited to start going through a book with him. (Choosing God's Best - Rauniker.) We saw Fireproof last night. love it. I just think it deals with so many relationship issues in the proper/appropriate/God-intended way.

I've been growing so much lately. I've been through "The Secret of the Lord" (Gresh) and I'm finishing "Captivating" (Eldridge) today. Powerful books. God is amazing and I'm learning how willing He is to share with me when I simply seek Him and give Him time. This has been my verse for the semester:

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

I love how it shows that when we search for answers and things without him we will not find them. Only through the Lord who created the earth (vs.2) can we discover joy and what we are truly looking for. Amazing. I will not go into the specific ways He has done this for me lately but, I hope I never again return to a place where I stop "calling" to him to teach me things.

I must go study for my Crisis test tomorrow and then go to my "Psychology of Relationships" class (amazing material!) this afternoon. :) it shall not be so long before i write again.....

prone to wonder Lord i feel it, prone to leave the God i love. Here's my heart Lord take and seal it seal it for thy courts above.*

i am ready for spring break. although i've been pleasantly surprised by this semester. i guess spring is just always better and more bearable. :) but regardless, being home and just working would be nice.

i hate how i constantly feel torn about staying at school on the weekends or going home. no matter what i do i feel like i'm not pleasing someone. so i must remind myself of what & who is ultimately important. its just hard to long to be in two places at once. most people cant see the big picture [not that i can though, lol.] anyhoo. my birthdays next week. w00t. i'm somewhat scared of no longer being a teenager. does this mean i'm actually an adult? because i'm pretty sure i still like to be treated as the child/less responsible one in several situations. but this'll be the first birthday where i've been at school not home and honestly i'm not looking forward to it. not that my friends wont do the little things to make me feel special but still i imagine i'll be disappointed. plus, i have 3 tests on my birthday. tell me thats not depressing cause i definitely think it is. i just hope i dont cry. haha, how mature is that?

"your life shouldnt be measured by the number of your breaths but rather by the amount of breathtaking moments."

:) i want to remember that on my birthday.