Do you really think that there is only one perfect mate?
As a matter of fact I do.
But then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them are they really the one for you? Or do you only think they are? Then what happens if the person your suppose to be with never appears or she does but your too distracted to notice..?
You learn to pay attention.
Then lets say God puts two people on earth and they are lucky enough to find one another, but, one of them gets hit by lightening. Well what then? Is that it? Or by chance you meet someone new and marry all over again, is that the lady your suppose to be with? Or the first? And if so and the two of them are walking side by side, were they both the one for you and you just happen to meet the first one first. Or is the second one supposed to be first? Is everything just chance or is some things meant to be?
You cannot leave everything to fate boy...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
major growing pains
So I have been kind of approaching this whole graduation / the rest of my life thing in a very scared, unsure, frightened, lazy, denail-filled, apathetic manner. And you know what? I discovered last week that it is just not working for me. I have just kind of been ignorning things I need to do and decisions I need to make. I've written about it before how I don't know exactly what I want to do or how to get there.
I have had some nice long discussions on life [well, my life] lately. I'm really trying to see the big picture (or would puzzle be a more appropriate analogy?) And, I'm trying to find the balance between being unprepared & lazy and trusting the Lord & seeking for open doors. So just sharing all of this with Mrs.Cole this morning was encouraging because she didn't laugh or shake her head at me. She actually understood, I mean I'm sure she hears it more often from students than I realize, and gave me some suggestions and some important things to think about for when I begin the actual job-searching process. But, I AM going to be more active about what needs to be done in the next 2 months...
that specficially is 32 days of classes, 55 total... AHH!
In Social Problems Dr. Freyre was discussing when one becomes an adult, and as a class we generally defined adulthood as either 1.) marriage or 2.)a full time job, with benefits, in your career field. So, maybe I have been way too super okay with that because I have had this fear that in January I will suddenly be thrown into adulthood, because I have an undergraduate degree, and will frankly just suck at it. (Maybe because I actually am good at this whole student thing - and at being a child who is taken care of - and because I tend to always looks for someone who is more in authority to take care of things...)
Then tonight I got to thinking at Jay and Caiti's about how they seem to have definitely reached that adulthood marker. I just loved being in their house & seeing them interact as married people & talk about paying off debt. :) I mean they are a little bit older but yeah it was encouraging to see that it can happen...
So, my goals for next week are:
1.) Do my "Graduation Application"
2.) Research research research... and apply the stuff I learned in 403 & from Mrs. Cole
3.) Sign up for the Career Center Interviewing thingy.
4.) Spend TIME in prayer and actively seek the Lord's guidance, encouragement, and peace. [I must say this has top priority...]
I remember this song came on one of the first times I drove by myself (I believe I was going to church) and it was such an inspiration & comfort when I was experiencing the first bits of growing pains from independence...
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
-Kelly Clarkson
I have had some nice long discussions on life [well, my life] lately. I'm really trying to see the big picture (or would puzzle be a more appropriate analogy?) And, I'm trying to find the balance between being unprepared & lazy and trusting the Lord & seeking for open doors. So just sharing all of this with Mrs.Cole this morning was encouraging because she didn't laugh or shake her head at me. She actually understood, I mean I'm sure she hears it more often from students than I realize, and gave me some suggestions and some important things to think about for when I begin the actual job-searching process. But, I AM going to be more active about what needs to be done in the next 2 months...
that specficially is 32 days of classes, 55 total... AHH!
In Social Problems Dr. Freyre was discussing when one becomes an adult, and as a class we generally defined adulthood as either 1.) marriage or 2.)a full time job, with benefits, in your career field. So, maybe I have been way too super okay with that because I have had this fear that in January I will suddenly be thrown into adulthood, because I have an undergraduate degree, and will frankly just suck at it. (Maybe because I actually am good at this whole student thing - and at being a child who is taken care of - and because I tend to always looks for someone who is more in authority to take care of things...)
Then tonight I got to thinking at Jay and Caiti's about how they seem to have definitely reached that adulthood marker. I just loved being in their house & seeing them interact as married people & talk about paying off debt. :) I mean they are a little bit older but yeah it was encouraging to see that it can happen...
So, my goals for next week are:
1.) Do my "Graduation Application"
2.) Research research research... and apply the stuff I learned in 403 & from Mrs. Cole
3.) Sign up for the Career Center Interviewing thingy.
4.) Spend TIME in prayer and actively seek the Lord's guidance, encouragement, and peace. [I must say this has top priority...]
I remember this song came on one of the first times I drove by myself (I believe I was going to church) and it was such an inspiration & comfort when I was experiencing the first bits of growing pains from independence...
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
-Kelly Clarkson
Saturday, October 17, 2009
:) & :( thoughts
*I really like the show Glee :)
*I forgot how disgusting throwing up is :(
*Scaremare tonight... oh the memories i have from scaremare over the years :)
*I want a Chin Poo or a Toy Australian Shepherd. :) They're adorable. But, I still love Border Collies..... :)
*I really should finish my book report. I've been procrastinating on it forever. The book is sitting next to me starring me down :(
*Emily's cupcakes smell fabulous :)
*The next few weekends are going to be crazy :/
*My favorite song today is Here We Go by Mat Kearney. It could change by tomorrow :)
*The end :)
*I forgot how disgusting throwing up is :(
*Scaremare tonight... oh the memories i have from scaremare over the years :)
*I want a Chin Poo or a Toy Australian Shepherd. :) They're adorable. But, I still love Border Collies..... :)
*I really should finish my book report. I've been procrastinating on it forever. The book is sitting next to me starring me down :(
*Emily's cupcakes smell fabulous :)
*The next few weekends are going to be crazy :/
*My favorite song today is Here We Go by Mat Kearney. It could change by tomorrow :)
*The end :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
"your mom"
It's already technically the 14th. how did that happen?? The first week of October flew by b/c i was waiting for break... then break flew by... and now this week is going pretty darn fast.
I most definitely do regret spending so many of my college days waiting for the next break...
I took the time to write down everything school wise I have to do between now & Thanksgiving. It's a bit overwhelming for only 6 weeks. Which equals only having 5 weekends. And, I agreed to work 2 of those Saturdays @ TCP [which is a good thing, i think] but I just see the equation for lots of stress to occur. Guess I'll have to practice what I've been learning... "prevention" & "management." ha.
So last week I was all thoughtful & whatnot about past relationships. The who's, when's, & why's. I've decided it's okay to remember. [And, I've set some new relationship goals... beginning after I graduate of course.]
Tonight I got all thoughtful & whatnot about families and drama. Oh i wish i could see into the future. :)
Anyways, camping was fun & relaxing. Its so familiar to me that it kind of felt the same as going home... sweet. I was kind of bummed when I found out the other Stultzs & the Reeds were not joining us. and can i just say that my parents are hilarious. and who knew an incident with a dwarf could provide so many laughs?? :) :) :) haha but it was good to spend some time just hanging out with Ray. I know that sounds weird because I pretty much see him everyday, but, we both get so caught up in other things. Basically, Lake Robertson = Love.
and i definitely should never have caffeine after like 3 in the afternoon. :)
I most definitely do regret spending so many of my college days waiting for the next break...
I took the time to write down everything school wise I have to do between now & Thanksgiving. It's a bit overwhelming for only 6 weeks. Which equals only having 5 weekends. And, I agreed to work 2 of those Saturdays @ TCP [which is a good thing, i think] but I just see the equation for lots of stress to occur. Guess I'll have to practice what I've been learning... "prevention" & "management." ha.
So last week I was all thoughtful & whatnot about past relationships. The who's, when's, & why's. I've decided it's okay to remember. [And, I've set some new relationship goals... beginning after I graduate of course.]
Tonight I got all thoughtful & whatnot about families and drama. Oh i wish i could see into the future. :)
Anyways, camping was fun & relaxing. Its so familiar to me that it kind of felt the same as going home... sweet. I was kind of bummed when I found out the other Stultzs & the Reeds were not joining us. and can i just say that my parents are hilarious. and who knew an incident with a dwarf could provide so many laughs?? :) :) :) haha but it was good to spend some time just hanging out with Ray. I know that sounds weird because I pretty much see him everyday, but, we both get so caught up in other things. Basically, Lake Robertson = Love.
and i definitely should never have caffeine after like 3 in the afternoon. :)
Saturday, October 3, 2009
for granted.
I think i tend to take the Fall season for granted. Usually I'm quick to say my favorite season is Summer or Spring... but then Fall rolls around and the leaves change and it hits me how beautiful it is. Ever since freshman year one of my most favorite things is driving down 460 towards Roanoke and right between Bedford & Montvale the leaves and colors are absolutely gorgeous. Last weekend the leaves were just starting to change & it made me excited to drive 460 to & back from Fall Break. But, I'm driving to the 'Noke tomorrow afternoon so i will get to enjoy the colors then. as well as next weekend. and i know i will be blessed by that drive tomorrow - because I'll have the chance to see how much the leaves change by driving the same drive 3 Sundays in a row. And, I strongly dislike driving hence why I'm trying to find the blessing in driving to Roanoke 3 weeks in a row...
those are just some thoughts. ;)
tomorrow I'm going to Roanoke to work a fairly short shift at The Children's Place, it kind of doesn't seem worth it to drive an hour to work for 5 but I believe it is. :) I often take that job for granted as well. However, I realized when Jennifer called the other morning how nice it is to be wanted. [i mean maybe she didn't mean it on such a personal level but i took it as a compliment lol] and the fact that she took the time to ask how school was going & if the swine flu was going around & stuff.
i take camping & my family for granted as well. I'm PUMPED to spend 4 days at lake robertson next weekend. i pray it will be gorgeous weather & I will get the break I desperately need. i can just picture it now: hot chocolate, a walk down to the lake [pictured below], a card game, sitting indian style in a camping chair reading a good book by the fire.
Apparently I've taken pictures and the fact that I can post them on here for granted as well. not anymore :)
I take school, or education in general, and Liberty University for granted. I mean how blessed am I? I went to get coffee with Heather tonight and we were just chatting about school & our degrees [and how we are not guaranteed awesome jobs or titles or any large salary with our amazing degrees haha] and I was like "even if I went back and had to do it over I really don't think I would change anything... i loved my classes. and 20 years from now I honestly don't think i will regret getting my degree in child development." :)
Also, today was Heritage day at Camp Bethel. [I didn't go...] I definitely take Camp Bethel for granted. I mean it was a HUGE part of my life - and i'm sad that it really isn't anymore. I miss the place, the smell, the people, the excited feelings i get every time i turn off of route 11 to go there. SIGH. i read through part of my old xanga last night... camp and the relationships i have/had based on camp really did shape me into who i am today. i miss that. and them...... and i would totally put up an awesome old school camp bethel pic of me with those people. but sadly, i stopped spending time with them the same summer i got my laptop. thus, no people photos on here. however, this field, campfire, & cross hold so many personal memories for me. [sigh.]
oh, there is so much more i want to write but, I shall go to bed now. :)
and here is a link to my xanga and to my livejournal in case i ever can't find them again...
xanga
livejournal
those are just some thoughts. ;)
tomorrow I'm going to Roanoke to work a fairly short shift at The Children's Place, it kind of doesn't seem worth it to drive an hour to work for 5 but I believe it is. :) I often take that job for granted as well. However, I realized when Jennifer called the other morning how nice it is to be wanted. [i mean maybe she didn't mean it on such a personal level but i took it as a compliment lol] and the fact that she took the time to ask how school was going & if the swine flu was going around & stuff.
i take camping & my family for granted as well. I'm PUMPED to spend 4 days at lake robertson next weekend. i pray it will be gorgeous weather & I will get the break I desperately need. i can just picture it now: hot chocolate, a walk down to the lake [pictured below], a card game, sitting indian style in a camping chair reading a good book by the fire.
Apparently I've taken pictures and the fact that I can post them on here for granted as well. not anymore :)
I take school, or education in general, and Liberty University for granted. I mean how blessed am I? I went to get coffee with Heather tonight and we were just chatting about school & our degrees [and how we are not guaranteed awesome jobs or titles or any large salary with our amazing degrees haha] and I was like "even if I went back and had to do it over I really don't think I would change anything... i loved my classes. and 20 years from now I honestly don't think i will regret getting my degree in child development." :)
Also, today was Heritage day at Camp Bethel. [I didn't go...] I definitely take Camp Bethel for granted. I mean it was a HUGE part of my life - and i'm sad that it really isn't anymore. I miss the place, the smell, the people, the excited feelings i get every time i turn off of route 11 to go there. SIGH. i read through part of my old xanga last night... camp and the relationships i have/had based on camp really did shape me into who i am today. i miss that. and them...... and i would totally put up an awesome old school camp bethel pic of me with those people. but sadly, i stopped spending time with them the same summer i got my laptop. thus, no people photos on here. however, this field, campfire, & cross hold so many personal memories for me. [sigh.]
oh, there is so much more i want to write but, I shall go to bed now. :)
and here is a link to my xanga and to my livejournal in case i ever can't find them again...
xanga
livejournal
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