sweet sleep

well, we all know i won't post regularly or anything i claim i'm going to post so from now on this will probably just be a random "i can't sleep" so "this is what i'm going to type about" place. although i love love love looking back at my blogs and seeing what i was up to/going through.

sigh. i'm not gonna lie this week's been tough. just the other week i was commenting on how long it'd been since i'd been sick. hah. that came back to bite me. My mom and B were both sick with colds last week, and before that Rachel and some people from work had it, so i was kind of destined to get it. Last weekend I opted out of going to a few things so i could sleep and try to beat it. That didn't really work. I actually felt better mid-week but, then the congestion came back worse. Thursday I went to Kroger with dad and picked up a decongestant (having to sign to get it from behind the counter should have been a clue that it was some serious stuff i guess...apparently anything with ephedrine is not something to be messed with.) I immediately felt like my head was clearing up! but, then i took 2 naps. non-drowsy? i don't think so.

Craig actually spoke about sleep at Rhythm. "A clear conscience is the best pillow." epic. and he talked about when you can't sleep how it's either because your body is worked up or your mind is. He shared about Philippians 4:4-9. I kind of gave the message some general thought, talked it over with Meritha, and that was it, headed to Fridays with "my crew" and, i took 2 more decongestant pills there. (a good 6 hours after the first 2) and then i won't go into details but i don't really remember a whole lot. (not that i did anything crazy or dangerous i just wasn't myself and have like no memory...) I didn't drive, and I remember telling Meritha that i was going to sleep really well that night!

fast forward and i ended up not sleeping, like literally, all stinkin night long. did you know home improvement and america's funniest home videos are like the only real shows on television at 3 and 5 am? i also read quite a bit of "So Long, Insecurity" by Beth Moore. [too bad i have to re-read it because it did not sink into my mind...ironic.] It was like the longest night of my life. I had worked myself up and freaked myself out so badly. It's kind of scary how powerful and convincing the mind can be. And you know that awful "I need to get sleep, like I have to get sleep tonight, there is no option" feeling? Gross. My throat was dry and I was hot and cold. I was like half-asleep hallucinating. My stomach was upset. I knew I was having a reaction to the medicine and I wasn't sure how much I was doing to myself, how much was the substance, and how much was even real. hah. I've felt like this 2 other nights in my life. Once, at school in the dorm, after I took Delsyum cough syrup. And once here, and I don't remember why. But, I remember having conversations with people who weren't really there and not being sure if i was awake or asleep. I told my mom that I felt like there was someone in the bathroom with me... (and i was not praying, like this was not a Holy Spirit kind of presence....) creepy. I was completely miserable. Meanwhile, I was thinking through my life and situations and relationships. It was completely exhausting. physically and emotionally. I won't go on about all of this because I really want to actually get to my points. [ps-i did not babysit on friday because i felt HORRIBLE and i did go to the dr. friday and its just a virus and i probably should switch back to dayquil...hah.]

1. Don't mess with drugs.
2. I feel empathy for people who struggle with mental illness and do not trust themselves. It's serious, scary, crazy stuff.
3. My mom wins "best mom of the century/universe award" because she's awesome.
4. I feel more aware of a connection between anxiety and a spiritual warfare realm. At least that's how it felt to me.
5. pray, pray, pray. mmm it is so sweet to know that I have a personal Savior that knows everything about me, and He adores me inside and out, and is always listening!

Guess what I came across on facebook Friday? SpiritFM had posted this link

http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/02/sweet-dreams.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+p31encouragement+%28P31+Encouragement+for+Today%29

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or recieved or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Phil. 4:4-9

I'm taking this so personally right now. SIGH. :)

halfway gone

Once again, I've returned to blogging and hopefully I will actually finish & post this one. :) high hopes I know! I get frustrated with myself when I don't blog... not because all of my "readers" don't have any new material but because i love looking back and seeing what i've been doing/learning/processing during a certain season. I mean holy cow the month of October is halfway gone (..and i'm on my way and i'm feelin feelin feelin this way cause you're halfway here so don't take too long cause i'm halfway gone halfway goneee.) and soon 2010 will be a memory. How is time moving this fast?? sigh.



So I'm going to list some things I want to blog about...

-life in general
-Isaiah
-nannying/B
-Summer
-movies/music/book/reviews
-To do lists (ironic?)
-Rhythm
-Family
-Regular daily stuff

...and so, we shall see.



anyways, for now I would like to introduce "B" as I will affectionately refer to him here in cyberspace. :] He's pretty much my best bud & a really great listener since I've been spending approximately 25 hours a week in his company. and he actually likes when i sing!

truth

"Things that are true reveal beauty, and things that are beautiful reveal truth."

cause it goes on and on and on

i throw my hands up in the air sometimes...
except not really. but, the song is catchy. :]

hmm. how can it already be the middle of august? i mean, really?
so what have i been up to lately...

painted my room. [which took forever.. props to my parentals for being awesome and helping out] i'll post pics as soon as i get it all put back together. i'm painting my furniture tomorrow though. i've been sore this weekend - painting can be tough. and i've slept on the couch & the floor b/c i didn't have blinds, & it smelled really strong, & i covered the futon with stuff from my room. fail.

allison went back to georgia today. i loveddd her being around this summer. and i miss her already.

we had an 85th birthday party for my grandma at the beginning of the month. basically fun family times were had. and then aunt donna stayed for a few weeks so it was cool to do stuff with her.

and i've been to Christiansburg & Lynchburg with some pretty neat-o people.

i didn't get a job that i really really wanted so now i'm trying to re-motivate myself...
but, i have been at TCP a bunch these last few weeks so everythings working out i guess.

my dreams have been pretty much insane lately & although they drive me crazy and baffle me and consume my thoughts in the mornings i've kind of enjoyed them.

i taught the middle schoolers again this morning. sigh - i miss being that age.

i've been eating out a LOT lately & its gotta stop. my body & my wallet are starting to hate me. :(

& i'm sure there are other items of importance but, the sun has gone to bed & so must i.

ps: i now own 2 silly bandz. therefore, i am cool.

a true fan... counts.

a true fan sits through 4 softball games in a row. props to summerdean for coming in 2nd this season!! :]

i've got a big long to-do list for tomorrow [basically everything i've dropped the ball on lately. & no not the softball although i do have softball on the brain.]

i cannot believe it's been 4 years since i went to colorado. oh so much has changed. *sigh* i'm wondering if its too late to facebook my pictures from that trip.

anyways - camping on sunday we went to the "chapel" service at the campground (sponsored by the ruritan club - different local church rotate leading it.. pretty cool i must say.) and i'll admit i was just not in the best mood on sunday. it was one of those wake up on the wrong side of the bed days.. except i woke up on the right side of the camper with a very sore back & some awful morning breath? haha moving on. so i really tossed around the idea of not going to the service. (side note: that night i went to Genesis & allison & i talked about how when you don't feel like going somewhere or listening to something it's probably when you most need to be there and really need to hear it...) but, i was totally blessed by the pastor who spoke [he also lead it last july when we were there] whose been battling cancer & only been given a certain number of years to live. his perspective was amazing & just glorifying. and by this hymn - which we struggled to sing a few verses of accapella. (sp?) it was stuck in my little head for days until i looked it up. basically - its one of those i've always heard and never really listened to, gave much thought to, all these years.

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,

When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,

Count you many blessings - name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

[Count your blessings, name them one by one;

Count your blessings, see what God hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one;

Count your many blessings see what God hath done.]

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?

Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?

Count your many blessings - every doubt will fly,

And you will be singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,

Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;

Count your many blessings - money cannot buy,

Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

So amid the conflict, whether great or small,

Do not be discouraged, God is over all.

Count your many blessings - angels will attend,

Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.

[John Oatman Jr.]

and so i want this to be a challenge to myself to take the time, stop focusing on everything negative/uncertain, and count my blessings. daily. :)

ramblings.

I've decided that I never want to live alone.. like long-term. My diet this week has consisted of mac n cheese & bagel bites. and blue koolaid. :] bruce & susan took me to FA's tonight & i ate a salad so that's been my only redeeming factor. And my cat sure has kept me company... so now, i understand how cat ladies become cat ladies. They just make it less lonely! And really I'm not sure what makes my basement so creepy but, it just is. I went bowling tonight for the first time in years -- i think i bowled a 75 the first game & 102 the second. haha. i was proud ok. and it was kind of ironic that i bowled with 5 people who are currently attending LU and i didn't hang out with any of them when i was at liberty or in lynchburg. :) at one point allison, joel, amy, evan & i were standing togetherish and it almost felt like the ol days. almost. haha true friends are the ones who will make sure you make it home okay [even when you don't drink...] i went to what could have been our last softball game tonight - but, we won (sad it was against albo though!) so now we play tuesday as many games as it takes until we lose. and on that note i'm done.

hmm

"Unfortunately, most people believe their doubts and doubt their beliefs... you should be believing your beliefs and doubting your doubts."

easier said than done my friends.

Always There

...When I'm walking in the light and faith comes easy
When I'm drowning in the doubt and not believing
Every step I take, with me all the way
You are always there
There are days I want to turn back
Sometimes it's so tough to trust that you've a plan for me
It's hard for me to see
But there's one thing of which I'm sure
No height, nor depth, nor fear of failure
Can pull me from your grace... I won't ever be alone.

so on a whim yesterday i grabbed a Chris & Conrad cd at lifeway [thanks to my church for the generous gift card!] i was planning on getting "I Will Carry You" or "So long insecurity" or something like that. I did see a book called "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred" lol i couldn't bring myself to buy it though. But, for some reason i was just pulled to the cd. I mean I've heard a few songs by these guys on the radio & although i like them the songs were not like my favorite or anything. but, lemme tell you i already love love love this cd. the lyrics are just what i need right now to be encouraged & uplifted. I mean it definitely reminds me of my old boy band loving days with their harmonies & stuff... but i don't mind that so much. :)

anyways - soon i will recount some of my recent adventures in TN & NC!

my heart is happy

you know what? God does answer prayer..... I am going to the beach tomorrow.

you may think this is silly, but to me it is definitely not. a month ago right after Ray and I broke up I poured my heart out to the Lord. let's just say He knew how much I would have loved to and longed to go to the beach this summer.

and i found out friday that tomorrow i am going to the Outer Banks. [and no i didn't even invite myself along with someone like i had first joked that i would!]

:) :) :)

I am SO blessed and cannot wait to relax, enjoy, and worship during these next few days.




in other news... i had a very exciting, random, fun/family filled weekend which i will definitely blog about if there is indeed internet at this beautiful OCEANFRONT house i will be at!!!

thoughts worth stating

i'm going to tennessee tomorrow. we're going to sarah's parents tomorrow and then on to nashville friday. i can't believe josh is getting married!!! sheesh. i'm in the midst of packing and i can't make decisions for the life of me.

today i almost made myself a lunch like an hour before i was supposed to go out to lunch because i forgot that i was going out to lunch. thankfully i remembered...

there's just something about writing a good long letter to a friend that's therapeutic.

i'm extremely not-tan but... that's okay. i guess. maybe i won't get skin cancer?

i guess it's kind of pointless to go on a walk/jog and then eat ben & jerry's.

ohh excitement occurred during my walk. i witnessed a lady being locked outside of her running car in her driveway because her little yorkie dog hit the lock button with his paw. she freaked out a little bit. but, thankfully the sun-roof was open and the windows were cracked. however, she had recently had surgery or something so she asked me to climb onto her car and reach inside next to the yippy dog and hit the unlock button. i didn't particularly want to climb onto her car and thankfully i successfully squeezed my hand through the front window enough to reach the back door unlock button. :) i felt like a good neighbor... and the dog only licked my hand like 10 times!

i got a pedicure today and it was delightful. no i do not get them often but i have had quite a few this past year for various reasons and i do enjoy them...

there were a group of ymca daycamper's in the center in the square building today. i had flashbacks to last summer and then got kind of nostalgic.

i finally got to hang out with allison for a few days. we had fun. :]

and isn't eva such a super cute/sweet kiddo? she brightens my softball games. and i'm glad we have red cheeks & curly hair in common. :)

friday nights

Today has actually been just what i needed. last night too for that matter. Funny how a month ago I really thought I would dread Friday nights... but, nope, they've actually been quite refreshing. :) I'm blessed by the girl friends who are willing to hang out with me & just lend a listening ear. I've definitely taken them for granted/never appreciated them quite so much. [except I should maybe not have coffee or chocolate late at night because I am super caffeine sensetive...resulting in this] and now i just want to go to Ireland. or prince of persia made me want to go to the outer banks... specifically to jockeys ridge. hmm. I think its time for bed. :)

Worth remembering

Although I love reading there have only been a few books that have really made an impact on me for some reason or another. Since it's late and I literally just finished one of these I'll wait to go into detail/response mode haha.

Why I Jumped - Tina Zahn
Unprotected - My version is by an anonymous author but, I think it's now being published by Miriam Grossman...
A Child Called IT - Dave Pelzer
The Atonement Child- Francine Rivers
The Unlikely Disciple - Kevin Roose
Crazy Love - Francis Chan
Choosing God's Best - Don Raunikar
Why I Stayed - Gayle Haggard

I'm sure there are more that deserve to be on this "list" but, for now those are the ones I'm quickly recalling and i know (for me) are worth remembering.

sugar cookies and boundaries

Today feels like it has been the longest day in the world. Which now that I think about it it's kind of ironic that I pulled up a new post not sure what to write about and that was the first statement that popped into me head... because one of my co-workers told me today that this is supposed to be the longest week of the year. Basically, I'm trying to say that yes, yes it is and yes, yes it feels like it.

Honestly, it's been easy to be negative lately. To see every possible glass as half empty. I'm not going to write about this right now... or dwell on it. But, i'm just bringing it up as a personal reminder: it doesn't help anything.

I've been reading quite a few blogs lately and I almost feel bad that I don't have deep revelations to share. But, to re-enforce my last post i am anticipating them. ;)

I was blessed to have the opportunity to "sub" and teach the jr. high class on sunday morning. When asked Thursday night I readily agreed because, well for one reason lots of people were nearby and i couldn't think of one exscuse or reason not to. (Is it horrible I was a little self-focused that night?) Out of all the age groups in my church I feel like this generation of jr.highs is the one that I am least closest to. I mean I've known these kids their entire lives... and, I don't spend much or any time around them so I have a hard time thinking of them as teenagers. (or close to it!) I've babysat their younger siblings and hung out with the high schoolers but... this group of kids not so much. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well or not. Basically: I was excited to teach/serve/get to know them... yet, I was hesitant and really have not been feeling like I'm in a position to teach. I did spend time in prayer, look over the lesson, and even bake some pretty good sugar cookies! I was dealing with allergies/congestion/sinusinfectionwhatnot over the weekend and that sure didn't help my perspective. Sunday morning I was just feeling like I had no energy and began thinking of exscuses/reasons to not give it my best. (or my anything & just asking them to combine with the high schoolers haha) but, with some encouragement and perspective i changed my attitude. And, in the end everything went fine. [I even gave them a good laugh by tripping over a chair..] I mean I can't speak for what they got out of it but, I sure got more than I ever expected. :)

On the flip side, I have been practicing boundaries and gracefully said no to 2 different situations over the weekend. (maybe not the wisest move financially as far as not taking an extra shift at work...? oh well.) but, I was able to realize that physically and emotionally I just couldn't stretch myself anymore and I needed some time to do some other things and REST and you know what? that's okay :)

Alright it's time to end this super long day and this blog that is nothing like i originally intended it to be about. lol. until next time!

i'm back!

i'm sure no one is really surprised at this point that it's been 5 months since i last posted. i'm definitely not.

a lot has changed since january and i feel like i'm not going to have much excitement to blog about this summer. but, i'll try anyway.

someone asked me on facebook chat the other night how life was. i took a few minutes to really ponder the question before giving an answer. all i could say was that it is not how i thought it would be. i'm not going to get lost in a world of "what ifs" but, i will say that i am not where i thought i would be at this point/age. and that's okay. do my plans for my life ever work out the way i want them too? nope. and that's a good thing.

so although i won't have much exciting to write about i do feel as if i'm going to learn some valueable lessons & have some great experiences that i'll want to digest & record through writing in the next few months.... we'll just have to see. :)

i'm just sayin

I really thought January would be slow & uneventful. I had pictures of myself sipping hot chocolate and working a logic puzzle. Cleaning my room and going shopping just for the heck of it. Calling my dearest friends just to chat. Watching the list of movies that I've developed. Have I had time to do any of that? Not so much. I feel like I'm at a transition period of my life, which I am, yet I havn't even had time to write a decent blog, update my resume, or sleep in. I mean I don't think that I've been asking for laziness, but just a break. please? So... what have I been doing? Yes, I realize this is probably similar to my last post, but it is just my way of processing my life as I havn't taken any time to do so beyond this.

I went to Rhythm [it was great to go back, but it definitely seemed different, but, i think i was just in a weird mood haha]
I took Meritha out to dinner for her birthday [mmm best cake ever]
I've worked, a lot, inventory & floorset [and the fact that like everyone's gotten sick? And we got our regular music back today, no more bowling with Bert...]
I've gone to Bible Study twice [Beth Moore's studies are intense, just sayin]
I've gone out to dinner for my brother's birthday [mmm best pizza ever]
I've gone to the dentist [2 cavities? really?]
I'm almost through New Moon [Although I enjoy the book, I'm having a hard time burning through it because I've seen the movie and I know what's going to happen]
I watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop with my parents [and i really actually adore that movie. "peanut blart and jelly"]
I've watched Hoarders & The Biggest Loser [TV is a waste of life?! hahaha]

Other thoughts:
I'm sick of feeling like I'm going to have a nose bleed. just sayin, it's getting old.
Also, I'm sick of being static-y.
I've learned a lot this week, especially through Bible study.
Tomorrow should be a good day.
There really are jelly-bellies that taste like coldstone ice-cream. i mean i'm just sayin it's pretty cool.
I am not a fan of situations where I don't really know what's going on and whether or not I really should get super involved.
I love super mario bros on the wii. except for when i die, like 5x in a row.
I have re-vamped my financial records & budget for 2010, yay me!
I'm sick of my fingers being so chapped that they burn when I wash my hands or put on lotion.
And I'm just sayin my gel-insoles are really helping my feet be happy at work.
:)

the post that didn't post :)

I actually wrote this on 1/4, but, apparently it never posted because my internet's retarded. so here it is now (1/10) !! hahaha


Alright so the last few weeks have been a complete blur.

Did I even take exams? or go to Christmas parties? or go Christmas shopping? or tell my roommates goodbye for a month? Honestly it feels like that was months ago! And yet... I don't feel like I've been home any time at all. Right now my laptop is getting a pretty strong wireless signal - and hopefully my parents will purchase a computer soon that moves faster than a dinosaur - and I'll have more time to blog & such. :]

I did just enjoy looking at my previously posted top 10 list. Thankfully, I've done a lot of those things. I've been to Panera with the girls, Starbucks with the mom, I'm currently reading Twilight, I've played many card games, etc. and I have a gift certificate to get a pedicure soon! I definitely enjoyed spending time with my extended family the week of Christmas. They're crazy and I've really started to appreciate them more! And, The Children's Place has been recieving a large amount of my time... which isn't a bad thing at all, just tiring. :) I brought in the new year spending a little bit of time with Eva & the Stultz's and then playing mario bros on the wii with ray & his cousins, and we didn't even realize it was past midnight. :)

one week!!!

Fall of my freshman year.... how long ago that seems. and how much have i changed?

one week from right now... next Tuesday night... i have no idea what thoughts and emotions will be running through my head. really this week seemed so far away and now, BAM here it is! tomorrow i have my last undergrad classes. ever. i have to go to the facs office and do my senior exit interview, and then it's the last NBT youth group. Thursday i have a meeting and i need to finish and submit my last research paper. Friday I have to take my nutrition exam online, take my philosophy final, and take my facs475 final. Then, i'm going to do something fun & relaxing & celebrating & probably go to coffeehouse. Saturday i'm going to do whatever i feel like (haha) and spend time with my roomies and make yummy things for our Night Before Christmas party where i shall where my cute PJs and have fun enjoying my final weekend as a college kid.... AHHH. sunday is church and i will probably cry telling Bayli goodbye. :( monday i'll take my psyc final, tuesday is completely free and as i've already said who knows what will be running through my head haha, and wednesday i take my last final [sociology] and will be completely done by 11:30 most likely. SHEESH. (and yes, i just wrote all of this out for my own mental sake not really for your entertainment...)




I'm going to throw out a top 10 list (lol)



10 things I am looking forward to/plan on doing when I get home (over Christmas & into January i suppose)



1. Reading: The Twilight Saga. Karen Kingsbury. maybe some Nicholas Sparks. Crazy Love. etc.

2. Playing games with my family


3. Hanging out with Elizabeth, Eva, & Meritha


4. Going to Rhythm


5. Organizing/Printing/Scrapbooking Pictures


6. Starbucks trips with mom and Sams trips with dad


7. A pedicure :)


8. Reconnecting with old friends... or meeting new ones!


9. Taking a nice long bubble bath and reflecting over college


10. Finding a way/place to serve the Lord through this next segment of my life

"you can"

my weekend was delightful. yep, that word sums it up the best. :) After wasting my Thursday night and Friday morning fretting about my presentation [which went fine, i totally got a 95% woot woot!]

Friday night was a total blessing. Meritha and Eva came to L'burg to see me! haha, it only took 3 and 1/2 years of talking about it before it actually happened. the important thing is that it actually did happen. And, i forgot how much they make me laugh... even just by leaving the sink running in the bathroom lol. Anyway, we went to Kelsea's apt. and picked her up and went downtown. I realized that one of my regrets of things I did not do while at Liberty is not going downtown more :( We went to WaterStone and it was delicious even though i had to wait forever and a day for my pizza. [it was free though - always a bonus!] thankfully we weren't raped or attacked on our quest to go to the First Friday gallery. :) So, then we went up to Snowflex & had some laughs & froze & then came back here and watched a movie but that was not real riveting. And, to quote Kelsea's FB status on Friday, "thankful for those friends who even though you haven't seen in awhile, everything is exactly the same between you. :)"

Saturday was also lots of fun. Meritha, Eva & I went to good ol' RiverRidge to snoop out some bargains. We weren't super lucky. Oh, well I must admit i just love malls and being there. So then they left me and returned to the Noke. I attemped to get some work done... and actually succeeded in getting lots accomplished in a short amount of time. but, then i took a nap. :) Then i met Jennifer, Bayli, Megan A., Megan I. & Jordan for dinner at La Carreta. those girls are crazy. I mean, really crazy. Then, we went up to Snowflex [again] and I froze [again] and we played Twister [outside, at Snowflex] and I just love the girl's energy! And, they make me laugh a lot. Then, I came back home and we watched Get Smart.


Sunday was a pretty typical Sunday. We went to church & came back here & went to Kroger & I made brownies. Then, the NBT leaders came over for a meet-to-the-ing. haha, i love hanging out with them. And, I got to know Devan on a whole new level! haha :) So, that was my weekend in a short summary...

weekend

sometimes you just have those weeks where you look forward to the weekend so much and then it comes and goes before you know it. my weekend was different than i thought it would be - and it actually turned out pretty good. and now i am in denial that i have to get up and go to classes tomorrow. :) at least i only have one class tuesday. haha look at me trying to find the sunshine in life. tomorrow i get my 2nd philosophy test back, i have a nutrition test wednesday, and a presentation on friday [i despise presentations...] and hopefully a super fun weekend!! because then the next weekend is Ashley's wedding. and then, Thanksgiving break! and then 2 weekends 'till Christmas & graduation... AGH!

i tried to go Christmas shopping. but, i ended up buying myself some shirts. oh well.

and i read through one of my old journals last night, from like 2003-2004 and it was most fascinating. i have changed so stinkin much! and, now it is time for sleep. :)

one of my all time favorite movie scenes...

Do you really think that there is only one perfect mate?

As a matter of fact I do.

But then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them are they really the one for you? Or do you only think they are? Then what happens if the person your suppose to be with never appears or she does but your too distracted to notice..?

You learn to pay attention.

Then lets say God puts two people on earth and they are lucky enough to find one another, but, one of them gets hit by lightening. Well what then? Is that it? Or by chance you meet someone new and marry all over again, is that the lady your suppose to be with? Or the first? And if so and the two of them are walking side by side, were they both the one for you and you just happen to meet the first one first. Or is the second one supposed to be first? Is everything just chance or is some things meant to be?

You cannot leave everything to fate boy...