one week!!!

Fall of my freshman year.... how long ago that seems. and how much have i changed?

one week from right now... next Tuesday night... i have no idea what thoughts and emotions will be running through my head. really this week seemed so far away and now, BAM here it is! tomorrow i have my last undergrad classes. ever. i have to go to the facs office and do my senior exit interview, and then it's the last NBT youth group. Thursday i have a meeting and i need to finish and submit my last research paper. Friday I have to take my nutrition exam online, take my philosophy final, and take my facs475 final. Then, i'm going to do something fun & relaxing & celebrating & probably go to coffeehouse. Saturday i'm going to do whatever i feel like (haha) and spend time with my roomies and make yummy things for our Night Before Christmas party where i shall where my cute PJs and have fun enjoying my final weekend as a college kid.... AHHH. sunday is church and i will probably cry telling Bayli goodbye. :( monday i'll take my psyc final, tuesday is completely free and as i've already said who knows what will be running through my head haha, and wednesday i take my last final [sociology] and will be completely done by 11:30 most likely. SHEESH. (and yes, i just wrote all of this out for my own mental sake not really for your entertainment...)




I'm going to throw out a top 10 list (lol)



10 things I am looking forward to/plan on doing when I get home (over Christmas & into January i suppose)



1. Reading: The Twilight Saga. Karen Kingsbury. maybe some Nicholas Sparks. Crazy Love. etc.

2. Playing games with my family


3. Hanging out with Elizabeth, Eva, & Meritha


4. Going to Rhythm


5. Organizing/Printing/Scrapbooking Pictures


6. Starbucks trips with mom and Sams trips with dad


7. A pedicure :)


8. Reconnecting with old friends... or meeting new ones!


9. Taking a nice long bubble bath and reflecting over college


10. Finding a way/place to serve the Lord through this next segment of my life

"you can"

my weekend was delightful. yep, that word sums it up the best. :) After wasting my Thursday night and Friday morning fretting about my presentation [which went fine, i totally got a 95% woot woot!]

Friday night was a total blessing. Meritha and Eva came to L'burg to see me! haha, it only took 3 and 1/2 years of talking about it before it actually happened. the important thing is that it actually did happen. And, i forgot how much they make me laugh... even just by leaving the sink running in the bathroom lol. Anyway, we went to Kelsea's apt. and picked her up and went downtown. I realized that one of my regrets of things I did not do while at Liberty is not going downtown more :( We went to WaterStone and it was delicious even though i had to wait forever and a day for my pizza. [it was free though - always a bonus!] thankfully we weren't raped or attacked on our quest to go to the First Friday gallery. :) So, then we went up to Snowflex & had some laughs & froze & then came back here and watched a movie but that was not real riveting. And, to quote Kelsea's FB status on Friday, "thankful for those friends who even though you haven't seen in awhile, everything is exactly the same between you. :)"

Saturday was also lots of fun. Meritha, Eva & I went to good ol' RiverRidge to snoop out some bargains. We weren't super lucky. Oh, well I must admit i just love malls and being there. So then they left me and returned to the Noke. I attemped to get some work done... and actually succeeded in getting lots accomplished in a short amount of time. but, then i took a nap. :) Then i met Jennifer, Bayli, Megan A., Megan I. & Jordan for dinner at La Carreta. those girls are crazy. I mean, really crazy. Then, we went up to Snowflex [again] and I froze [again] and we played Twister [outside, at Snowflex] and I just love the girl's energy! And, they make me laugh a lot. Then, I came back home and we watched Get Smart.


Sunday was a pretty typical Sunday. We went to church & came back here & went to Kroger & I made brownies. Then, the NBT leaders came over for a meet-to-the-ing. haha, i love hanging out with them. And, I got to know Devan on a whole new level! haha :) So, that was my weekend in a short summary...

weekend

sometimes you just have those weeks where you look forward to the weekend so much and then it comes and goes before you know it. my weekend was different than i thought it would be - and it actually turned out pretty good. and now i am in denial that i have to get up and go to classes tomorrow. :) at least i only have one class tuesday. haha look at me trying to find the sunshine in life. tomorrow i get my 2nd philosophy test back, i have a nutrition test wednesday, and a presentation on friday [i despise presentations...] and hopefully a super fun weekend!! because then the next weekend is Ashley's wedding. and then, Thanksgiving break! and then 2 weekends 'till Christmas & graduation... AGH!

i tried to go Christmas shopping. but, i ended up buying myself some shirts. oh well.

and i read through one of my old journals last night, from like 2003-2004 and it was most fascinating. i have changed so stinkin much! and, now it is time for sleep. :)

one of my all time favorite movie scenes...

Do you really think that there is only one perfect mate?

As a matter of fact I do.

But then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them are they really the one for you? Or do you only think they are? Then what happens if the person your suppose to be with never appears or she does but your too distracted to notice..?

You learn to pay attention.

Then lets say God puts two people on earth and they are lucky enough to find one another, but, one of them gets hit by lightening. Well what then? Is that it? Or by chance you meet someone new and marry all over again, is that the lady your suppose to be with? Or the first? And if so and the two of them are walking side by side, were they both the one for you and you just happen to meet the first one first. Or is the second one supposed to be first? Is everything just chance or is some things meant to be?

You cannot leave everything to fate boy...

major growing pains

So I have been kind of approaching this whole graduation / the rest of my life thing in a very scared, unsure, frightened, lazy, denail-filled, apathetic manner. And you know what? I discovered last week that it is just not working for me. I have just kind of been ignorning things I need to do and decisions I need to make. I've written about it before how I don't know exactly what I want to do or how to get there.

I have had some nice long discussions on life [well, my life] lately. I'm really trying to see the big picture (or would puzzle be a more appropriate analogy?) And, I'm trying to find the balance between being unprepared & lazy and trusting the Lord & seeking for open doors. So just sharing all of this with Mrs.Cole this morning was encouraging because she didn't laugh or shake her head at me. She actually understood, I mean I'm sure she hears it more often from students than I realize, and gave me some suggestions and some important things to think about for when I begin the actual job-searching process. But, I AM going to be more active about what needs to be done in the next 2 months...

that specficially is 32 days of classes, 55 total... AHH!

In Social Problems Dr. Freyre was discussing when one becomes an adult, and as a class we generally defined adulthood as either 1.) marriage or 2.)a full time job, with benefits, in your career field. So, maybe I have been way too super okay with that because I have had this fear that in January I will suddenly be thrown into adulthood, because I have an undergraduate degree, and will frankly just suck at it. (Maybe because I actually am good at this whole student thing - and at being a child who is taken care of - and because I tend to always looks for someone who is more in authority to take care of things...)

Then tonight I got to thinking at Jay and Caiti's about how they seem to have definitely reached that adulthood marker. I just loved being in their house & seeing them interact as married people & talk about paying off debt. :) I mean they are a little bit older but yeah it was encouraging to see that it can happen...

So, my goals for next week are:
1.) Do my "Graduation Application"
2.) Research research research... and apply the stuff I learned in 403 & from Mrs. Cole
3.) Sign up for the Career Center Interviewing thingy.
4.) Spend TIME in prayer and actively seek the Lord's guidance, encouragement, and peace. [I must say this has top priority...]

I remember this song came on one of the first times I drove by myself (I believe I was going to church) and it was such an inspiration & comfort when I was experiencing the first bits of growing pains from independence...

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway
I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway
-Kelly Clarkson

:) & :( thoughts

*I really like the show Glee :)
*I forgot how disgusting throwing up is :(
*Scaremare tonight... oh the memories i have from scaremare over the years :)
*I want a Chin Poo or a Toy Australian Shepherd. :) They're adorable. But, I still love Border Collies..... :)
*I really should finish my book report. I've been procrastinating on it forever. The book is sitting next to me starring me down :(
*Emily's cupcakes smell fabulous :)
*The next few weekends are going to be crazy :/
*My favorite song today is Here We Go by Mat Kearney. It could change by tomorrow :)
*The end :)

"your mom"

It's already technically the 14th. how did that happen?? The first week of October flew by b/c i was waiting for break... then break flew by... and now this week is going pretty darn fast.

I most definitely do regret spending so many of my college days waiting for the next break...

I took the time to write down everything school wise I have to do between now & Thanksgiving. It's a bit overwhelming for only 6 weeks. Which equals only having 5 weekends. And, I agreed to work 2 of those Saturdays @ TCP [which is a good thing, i think] but I just see the equation for lots of stress to occur. Guess I'll have to practice what I've been learning... "prevention" & "management." ha.

So last week I was all thoughtful & whatnot about past relationships. The who's, when's, & why's. I've decided it's okay to remember. [And, I've set some new relationship goals... beginning after I graduate of course.]

Tonight I got all thoughtful & whatnot about families and drama. Oh i wish i could see into the future. :)

Anyways, camping was fun & relaxing. Its so familiar to me that it kind of felt the same as going home... sweet. I was kind of bummed when I found out the other Stultzs & the Reeds were not joining us. and can i just say that my parents are hilarious. and who knew an incident with a dwarf could provide so many laughs?? :) :) :) haha but it was good to spend some time just hanging out with Ray. I know that sounds weird because I pretty much see him everyday, but, we both get so caught up in other things. Basically, Lake Robertson = Love.

and i definitely should never have caffeine after like 3 in the afternoon. :)