good to remember

"Intimacy is seeing what is truly on the inside of a person (which can only be discovered face to face over long periods of time such as what you experience in marriage). Be careful not to mistake intensity for intimacy. Intensity fades as the newness wears off, but intimacy continues to blossom the longer you know a person." -Shannon Ethridge

I think we (our society, most people i know) often rush into dating relationships and "fall in love" without giving it a 2nd thought. but, do we experience real emotional intimacy as fast as we think we do? so... when the question of "how long should we know each other before we date?" comes upon us (or more often our friends and peers) why do we push the relationship? because everyone wants to experience intimacy. we often only question whether it was real after we've broken up or experienced true intimacy. oh i definitely think we should "call it what it is" but, now, finally i can see the different levels of friendship and how logical and emotionally safe they are.

acquaintance
casual friend
close friend
dating/courtship
fiance/engagement
marriage = true intimacy

so why push for intimacy OR intensity with your close friends? why not let time do its thing or trust God to show ya when to move to the next level? and until then be wise about how much or what you're putting into the relationship (time, emotions, sharing)? not only do you avoid mistaking intimacy with intensity you don't ruin what could be a GREAT friendship. (if only someone hadn't pushed to the next level) sigh.

most of this comes from "choosing God's best" (raunikar) and a class i had on relationships last semester :) i think its just taken me this long to understand it for myself and be able to simplify it into this blog....